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February 24, 2012 / alchemyofscrawl

Guest Post by Stella Vance author of Dancing with Duality

The Importance of Forgiveness and Four Methods for Forgiving or Asking for Forgiveness

My mother’s final words of wisdom to me were, “Stella, have you forgiven everyone?”

“Yeah, I think so, Mom…”

“Well, dig deeper! It’s really important!”

Those were the last words I heard from her before she died of cancer.

As we boomers age, we need to think of forgiving everyone, and asking for forgiveness. Forgiveness is something we do for ourselves, not others. As I was writing my memoirs, Dancing with Duality: Confessions of a Free Spirit, I was able to let go of that last layer of resentment I felt for every player in the game of my life. I saw the bigger picture and how even my seeming “enemies” had helped me transform.

As the generation who pioneered the sexual revolution, we Boomers had to go where no one had gone before. We had to figure out our limits. Our mothers could rarely give us advice, most of them having married as virgins. As a result, like many of us, I experienced abortion, date rape, sexual harassment on the job, betrayal from the man I thought I’d marry (with my sister and close friend!), sexual addiction to a man who physically and verbally abused me, and more.

On top of everything, I lost one of my best girlfriends ever (for 27 years) due to one joke I wrote about her in my memoirs. This was very traumatic for me, as we had been through so much together over three decades. And she had always been able to laugh at herself. (In fact, her husband was the one who made up the joke, and we all laughed!) So, I had to forgive her for writing me off as a friend for that one sentence, and forgive myself for making that error that cost a dear friend.

Here are some of the powerful forgiveness tools I’ve learned along the journey of life:

1. The old fashioned method: Ask the person for forgiveness, or forgive the person face-to-face or in a letter. If the person doesn’t accept your plea for forgiveness, it’s their problem, not yours. You have done your part. And as for forgiving the person, you are doing it to lighten your own load—not to excuse or condone their behavior.

2. The Silva Mind Control method: Get very relaxed, until you are in the “alpha brain state.” Imagine your “Higher Self” meeting up with the “Higher Self” of the person you want to forgive, or ask forgiveness from. Interact in the dialogue with your imagination.

3. The Hoʻoponopono method: This originated in Hawaii and is very powerful. Simply think of the person and repeat inwardly or aloud: “I love you. I’m sorry. Thank you.” Do it every single time the issue comes up in your mind. Even if you feel that you haven’t done anything wrong, you say “I’m sorry” as a part of taking responsibility for creating the whole scenario. Even if you are the one that is doing the forgiving, this really works.

4. The Talmud method: If someone believes you’ve wronged him/her and you want to be forgiven (even if you don’t think you’re in the wrong), you have to ask that person three times before the next Rosh Hashana (the Jewish New Year). If he/she won’t forgive you after the third request, then you’ve absolved yourself in the eyes of God, who forgives you (and puts a check mark next to your name in the Book of Life on Yom Kippur), which means, essentially, you forgive yourself.

Stella Vance is the author of Dancing with Duality: Confessions of a Free Spirit, a memoir dealing with a woman who faced eating disorders, divorce, betrayal, physical abuse, abortion, date rape, and more–but found that life is just a game and was able to move on, forgive, and celebrate life with its ups and downs.

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February 24, 2012 / alchemyofscrawl

Guest Post by Erin Lale author of Cassandra’s Time Yarns

 

How to Get a Job Reading Books

by Erin Lale, Acquisitions Editor at Damnation Books / Eternal Press

If you’re interested in what career path I followed to get my current position so you can also get a job with a book publishing company, here is how I did it.

Have you ever rolled your eyes when you heard that old cliche, “follow your bliss,” or “do what you love and the money will follow?” I did too, for years. I kept writing and publishing because I loved it, and I kept on rolling my eyes. I rolled my eyes when I was writing a column for the sports page of a newspaper in the 90s, because it wasn’t enough to live on. I rolled my eyes when I owned The Science Fiction Store in Las Vegas, because it didn’t make a profit. I rolled my eyes when I published Berserkrgangr Magazine, which never made a profit either, and when I published the Time Yarns anthologies, all the while looking for a “real” job, which I understood to mean “not in publishing.” I rolled my eyes as I racked up a 100k file of publishing credits, served on awards committees, attended conventions, even won costuming awards at conventions, and branched out into film. This month I stopped rolling my eyes. I got a job reading books.

There are three important things I did to get this job. Firstly, I showed dedication to the science fiction and fantasy genres, and acquired a broad knowledge of genre publishing through writing, publishing others’ writing, owning a specialty bookstore, attending conventions, and remaining active and networking in the genre community, and showed persistence in the publishing field over the course of a 27 year career in writing and publishing, even though I often had “real” jobs at the same time that I was freelance writing. Secondly, I showed that I have the ability to work from home successfully with little supervision, by publishing a magazine and anthologies, self-publishing my own books, and directing films. Thirdly, during the application process I applied my knowledge of the genres to the sample stories sent to me as a test, and made my sample acquisition decisions based on my knowledge of marketing, not just on my knowledge of quality writing.

There is also one very important thing that I did not do to get this job: I did not get a college degree in writing or publishing or English. There are still a few career fields in the world where what you can do means more than what sort of degree you have. Computer programming, inventing gadgets, and the arts, including writing, design, music, and dance, are some of those fields.

The best way to show you have what it takes to work in a small press is to start your own small press. I am sure that being Editor and Publisher of Time Yarns and having just published two anthologies of others’ works and produced a live action film as a promotional tool for the Time Yarns universe was a big factor in my getting my new job as Acquisitions Editor at Damnation Books / Eternal Press.

I followed my bliss. Are you following yours?

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February 24, 2012 / alchemyofscrawl

Sucker Punch THIS!

First couple of things out of the way: Yes, I liked the movie. Yes, I think there is a difference between men and women. Yes, I like men. But that doesn’t mean I want to think, be, or act like one.

Now on to the good stuff.

Why do I like Sucker Punch?

When was the last time you saw a group of women together in a movie? Steel Magnolias? Terms of Endearment? The remake of The Women would have been good except for all the crappy plastic surgery (Meg Ryan you used to be so cute) and, yet again, the Hispanic playing the whore.

When was the last time you saw a group of women together in an action movie? I’ll wait… …. …… Never, right? Sidekicks, yes. Maybe the lead like in Aeon Flux or Ultra Violet (love AF, not so big on UV), Machete.

(that chic is bada$$)

But they’re dressed in skimpy outfits and that’s offensive. Nooooo, what’s offensive is having every other flick with a scene where a guy HAS to walk into a strip club on any pretense to get a gratuitous shot of boobs.

There’s violence, but stick with me, it’s not the literal buckets of fake blood that I’ve seen thrown around in other movies. And. that’s. okay. Really, you don’t have to in every single action movie.

The violence is real against women depicted in the film – threat of rape/rape, murder, torture, abuse, neglect, lobotomy.

And how do some women cope? They leave their body. It’s true, that is a coping mechanism and doesn’t even have to be something extreme to make it happen.

The director/story writer got that part right and used the most powerful female archetype – virgin/maiden/crone.

He was smart to put them ALL in there and I applaud him for it.

I’ve read about the film being marketed to teenage boys. Well, I’m a 40+ woman who likes video games, action movies, and bad a$$ chics. Ummmm women do make up 50% of the population ON THE EARTH! This movie should have been marketed to me.

The main problem I have with the movie is the heavy handedness with the story. To put it bluntly, no matter what happens to you, you have the ability to change your world and fight back. No reality is any more real than any other reality. These tidbits of wisdom are ‘told’ rather than shown. It would have made a much stronger movie if he’d spent the time showing how the women came to realize this instead of framing the movie with dialog telling us.

That being said, I liked this movie and am buying it to add to my collection. Go ahead, discuss!

p.s. The soundtrack rocked!

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February 24, 2012 / alchemyofscrawl

BTR interview with James Fin Garner author of Honk Honk


The Politically Correct Bedtime Stories Trilogy
Rex Koko, Private Clown
Recut Madness
Bardball, for baseball doggerel fresh daily
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February 24, 2012 / alchemyofscrawl

VBT Book Bash for The Mancode: Exposed 3 Days Only

TOP 10 REASONS PEOPLE SHOULD BUY THE MANCODE: EXPOSED

10. Men: Clearly, based on the title, this book has to do with men. I’m married to one, have been for almost twenty years. I’ve had several long-term relationships, dated for many years prior, and have been in the workplace since age sixteen. Plus I’m online and interacting constantly with hundreds of guys as part of my social media consulting business and author platform. And they’re kind of always walking around and stuff. I have lots of material.

9. Women: I have two fabulous sisters and a terrific mom, as well as awesome friends and have always worked well with a cadre of chicks. Sure, women are competitive but so are men. We’re all people, right? My book specifically discusses women’s reactions to men and vice versa. One of my theories (after too many martinis one night) is women talk in circles, and men speak in points. Think about it.

8. Sex: Kind of hard NOT to discuss in a book about men and women don’t you think? But I decided to look at it from a different point of view and deconstruct things. Like our private parts – why not? Some people are uncomfortable with it but clearly, not me! I also discuss lingerie – pretty but man, that stuff is itchy.

7. Humor: Much of what I discuss is tongue in cheek, sarcastic, metaphorical. A lot of people have had quite visceral reactions to it because I think they take it literally. And that’s okay – I’m thrilled if I can elicit an emotion in anyone. I just hope people remember this is a humorous collection of essays. I’m no ‘ologist’ and make no claims to be.

6. Chocolate: From my point of view, chocolate is a food group. I can exist on Nutella alone. One guy on Twitter once told me to explain that and about twelve women practically attacked him. Chicks get it, dudes don’t. If we’re PMSing, we become Maleficent. What’s not to get?

5. Martinis: My salvation from a bad day. I’m a vodka girl. I really only have one a week, but I love writing about them. Just the thought of a vodka martini with extra olives makes you – sigh – take a deep breath, right? Hey, I have a drama queen tween girl and a six-year-old Tasmanian devil child darling son. A girl needs her martinis.

4. Stereotypes: There are certain behaviors or ways of communicating that my husband and I engage in. It’s simple fact. That’s what I write about. It’s where Mancode started for me. It’s funny. People can relate to it. We’re not all that different. There are universal truths about marriage, men, women, sex, relationships, etc. This is how stereotypes were formed ‘in the beginning.’

Some people have issues with my book – this is where the controversy comes in – saying I’m simply caving in to stereotypes. I researched stereotypes, DNA, how the male and female brains work, and more before I wrote my book.

Again, this is a humor book. It’s meant to be taken as such. I’m okay with however people want to internalize it and encourage discourse about it. That rocks.

3. Remotes: My guy is pretty obsessed with them. Quantity, volume, types. I could care less where they are or if I put them in a blender one day and crush them to an electronic death they’ll never recover from. Hey, a girl can dream.

2. Chickspeak: I’m quite task oriented (see my COMMUNICATION STYLES post on my blog) but women do say stuff like “I’m fine,” when we’re so not. This confuses men. They think we’re fine. Silly men.

  1. Mancode: The main reason you should read The Mancode: Exposed is right there in the title. We’re got their number. Or do we?

I deconstruct the goofy things men do (organize the garage but not the house – what is that?), the brain shelf (why men can only keep three things on the shelf at any one time: sex, food, and sports – as reported to me by several men), and why they’re obsessed with their own bodily secretions (I know—ewww).

Oh, and did I mention The Mancode: Exposed is priced at only 99cents this week? That’s kinda major! And it’s already made it into the Amazon Top 100? And hit #1 on Motherhood, Parenting and Families, and Parenting and Relationships?

So there’s that.

The book is eBook format and is available from Amazon exclusively but remember, you don’t need a Kindle to purchase eBooks – download their free apps for smartphone, computer, laptop, tablet, or cloud to read any eBooks – even if you’re a Nook (or other tablet) owner – you don’t have to miss out!

Be sure to follow Rachel here: her blog RachelintheOC.com, Twitter @RachelintheOC, Facebook and Goodreads. If you need social media advice, contact her at BadRedHeadMedia.com and follow her on Twitter @BadRedHeadMedia.

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February 23, 2012 / alchemyofscrawl

Guest Post by Jason T. Hutt author of Dust

Building Better Worlds

Before you type one word of your trend-setting, earth-shattering epic, you need to answer one very important question:

Where am I?

Or more specifically, where is my story?  A solidly built world will make your reader feel immediately at home.  Done right, your world will invite your reader in to kick off his or her shoes, lounge in the recliner, and stay for a while.

The world of your story isn’t just a mundane setting; your world is another character, it can drive the story, it can aid the antagonist or protagonist, it can give your characters motive, and so on.  Building a believable world, and the systems your world adheres to, is a crucial part of drawing your reader into the story.

I am an engineer by trade and as such, I value systematic approaches, having rules that govern processes, and generally knowing what limits I cannot violate.  Knowing these things gives me a framework to operate within every day in order to be a fully functioning member of my time.  Rules and limits help me recognize problems and, most importantly, give me guidance when things descend into chaos.

In any story, in order for the reader to appreciate the chaos or dilemma your protagonist finds herself in, the reader must have some sense of the norm.  For stories set in the current time, that’s a relatively straightforward task (though not necessarily easy).  For speculative fiction, establishing the norm is something that you, the writer, need to spend some time on before embarking on your story.

Establishing your world does not just mean defining the terrain or the layout of the city or the weather blowing through those city streets, it also means thinking about things like the political environment, the technological capabilities of the society, the religious beliefs of the time, the limits to whatever magic or superpowers your heroes and villains have, etc.

When I set about building a world, the first thing I do is give myself a sense of the physical environment.  I’ll draw out a crude map.  For a city, I’ll think about where the citizens live, where do they shop, where do they eat, what types of housing do they have, what jobs are available, what’s the school system like, how are the leaders put in place, and what’s their relationship with other cities.

Once I’ve built my locale, then comes the hard part.  How much of that setting do I need to convey to the reader so that the reader can get an immediate sense of where the story is centered and what is going on.  You don’t want pages and pages of exposition detailing the geopolitical climate of the region and its 50 year history with a detailed history of every leader of that period.

What you do want is subtle clues that give the reader context.  Mention that light is reflecting off two moons outside the window of a room and the reader immediately knows that they’re not in Kansas anymore.  Mention that your hero is standing before a field of crosses and the reader knows that either a tragedy has just occurred or one is being looked back on.  You need to know the details of your setting and background,  but you also need to partition them out to the reader in small doses.  Let the reader settle into the setting gradually, wiggle into that recliner a little bit, and really get comfortable for the long haul.

Here are some additional questions that I ask myself in world-building:

For stories of rebellion or revolution:

  • What type of government are they rebelling against?
  • How was that government put in place?
  • What laws or behaviors have triggered discontent?
  • Why were those laws enacted in the first place?
  • How did those laws get enacted?
  • What was the intended outcome of those laws compared to the actual outcome?

For the exploration of a new world:

  • What type of climate does the place have?
  • What’s the current weather?
  • What types of natural disasters occur?
  • What type of animal or plant life is there?
  • Is that life harmful or helpful?
  • How did that life come to be?
  • What’s the food chain for this ecosystem?

For traveling on a spaceship:

  • How big is the ship?
  • What is its main purpose?
  • What happens if an emergency occurs and the crew needs to abandon ship?
  • How do they fix broken components?
  • How fast can the ship go?
  • How many people can it hold?
  • What do the people do for entertainment.

My novel Dust is currently available in Amazon.com Kindle store and will soon be available in paperback on Amazon and Createspace.  I also have several short stories available on Amazon, iBooks, Smashwords, etc.  You can read more from me on my blog: http://huttspace.wordpress.com where I write about my science fiction, my family, and my job.  I’ve worked for NASA for 13 years on the International Space Station program and promote space exploration wherever I can.  You can also follow me on Twitter @jhutt75.

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February 23, 2012 / alchemyofscrawl

BTR interview with SA Bolich author of

Buy links:
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February 23, 2012 / alchemyofscrawl

VBT Book Bash with The Mancode: Exposed 3 Days Only!

Why is today different from any other day?

It’s not, really. Maybe not for you. It’s just another day of spilled coffee, kids whining, and laundry to fold. Oh wait, that’s me.

However, today is a big deal for this chick, self-published author and social media consultant you may or may not have heard of, Rachel Thompson. People like to give her lots of nicknames, but mostly she goes by RachelintheOC, aka the Queen of Snark and oh, don’t forget BadRedhead. #asif

Here are a few facts about this fiery spitfire (and we’ll get to the BIG deal in a minute):

  • Her second book, TheMancode: Exposed, released in December, hit #1 on multiple lists (Motherhood, Parenting and Family, Parenting and Relationships) as well as placing in the overall Amazon Top 100 in January – within its first month of release! This book is all-out humor: men (Mancode), women (Chickspeak), love, relationships, sex, and of course, chocolate.
  • Her social media consulting group, BadRedhead Media, specializes in social media, particularly Twitter, helping authors learn how to brand themselves, and figure out the world of Amazon. Her clients are varied and cover all genres. Follow @BadRedheadMedia on Twitter for free tips or visit her site for fees and info.

So…what’s the BIG deal?

Starting today, for THREE DAYS ONLY, The Mancode: Exposed is 99cents! (Reg. price $2.99.) Yep, you read that right. That’s why THURSDAY – SATURDAY, is special. Only these three days so don’t wait!

No strings, no hoops. Simple click here (Amazon exclusive, no Kindle required) and purchase your discounted copy of this popular #1 bestselling humorous collection of essays on men, women, relationships, chocolate, and sex. (Adult content warning.)

Remember, no Kindle is required to download an Amazon eBook. But you already knew that, yes? Simply download their free Kindle apps for computer, tablet, or smartphone. Even cloud. It’s very easy.

Do you have questions for Rachel? Visit her site, Twitter, Facebook, or email her at RachelintheOC@gmail.com. She’s very friendly….after coffee. Especially if you send Nutella (we hear she’s a fan).

Finally, Rachel is happy (well, as happy as she gets) to eSign her eBooks for you (go to Kindlegraph.com) to request her signature. Again, no Kindle required. It kinda rocks.

Thanks for hanging and enjoy the discounted read!

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February 22, 2012 / alchemyofscrawl

All the stuff I would be blogging about…

if I wasn’t SICK!

What my dinning room table looks like between both of us being sick…

My new favorite Sunday breakfast. Drop biscuits topped with sausage, egg, mushrooms and cheese! I tried mixing it all together but to me it came out too mushy. Oh, plus we’re gravy fans and I topped it all off with pepper gravy. I DON’T CARE IF IT’S NOT GOOD FOR ME!!

This is my main squeeze holding back my Chiwini from following me out the door. Apparently she sits at the top of the chair I sit in and whines when I leave and doesn’t stop until I return. That’s what they say at least… I call her batgirl – those are some BIG ears.

I like black beans but the family would have a fit if I tried to serve them just beans so mixed with steak, topped with cilantro and sour cream of course! That yummy looking bread deserves and will get a post of its own.

This is my new red zoom zoom car!

I’m breaking my arm patting myself on the back for this one. But it’s true! These were the best fajitas EVER! With flour tortillas topped with sour cream, cilantro, and diced tomatoes… Hey, I take the saying ‘feed the cold’ seriously! There was flan too, but gone before I could take a decent pic. Never buy flan or those boxed things, it’s too easy to make. Brown one cup of sugar (until it’s soupy), pour into the bottom of a 9×9 pan. Whip together one can of evaporated milk, one can of sweetened condensed milk, and two eggs. Pour on top of melted sugar and bake at 375 for an hour. Cool then put in the refrig. for a couple of hours. Or if you’re in Alaska, set it outside, eh akmamma? hehehe

There, that’s all the exciting things I would be blogging about if I wasn’t sick… I would say I feel better, but I’d be lying. All you healthy people, stay healthy!

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February 21, 2012 / alchemyofscrawl

No, as a matter of fact I WON’T pay you…

Apparently, I may be too sick to read but never too sick to rant!

Why?

Cuz I got this email. *Note to self – Never open emails when you’re sick.*

I signed on with this one program that was free to list your book. I think you should take advantage of those that list your book right back to where you sell it – Amazon, B&N, Smashwords, etc. – because it helps build up that title’s presence on the web. Cool beans!

Want the free sites that I’ve used? Go here.

But you know what, everybody’s out to make a buck in the Indie Wild Wild West.

I get this email that the free service now wants to charge me these LOW LOW LOW prices so that I will be featured on their website. Well, I’ll be featured on this part of the website BUT if I pay just a little bit more (double) I’ll be featured on the front page! And they’ll work out some payment plan and if I have a large social media presence they’ll WORK with me.

O.O

Lets recap our relationship… In order to have the book listed free in the first place I had to share out your website on all my social media networks, which I did for months. What did I get in return? I don’t know. I sure as %#@(* didn’t get a single tweet out on your network of my book. Not once.

Oh, maybe you shared my book with all your Facebook fans. Nope.

G+, ha!

Back to Twitter… I have more than double the followers you do… So who’s benefiting here? Hmmmm, let me think… And WHO ARE your followers? Cuz you have quite a few… OH YEA, it’s all the writers you asked to follow back so they could tweet out your website.*facepalm*

And where is this money going to go? To advertise your website of course! Really? REALLY? Cuz you know people would rather buy from your website then from, oh, lets say…. AMAZON!

website ideas

website ideas (Photo credit: Sean MacEntee)

Here’s a word of advice. There are top book blog/websites on the Internetz. YES, there are. They’ve been operating for YEARS. No, no you didn’t invent book blogging or book marketing or book advertising or book resale boutique or whatever the *#(*&%*)(@#*^)(*&)#*(&$ you think you are. THEY did and do you want to know what THEY do? They charge for advertising space, but do you know what else they do??

SHOW ME THE NUMBERS!!

Show me the numbers. Show. me. the. numbers. Demographics. Clickthroughs. Daily hits. Unique visitors. Newsletter? How many opened it?

I can advertise on a freakin’ Mommyblog and get this information…

So, as a matter of fact, no, I WON’T pay you!

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